Today was light for melody, heavy for crippling dread and anxiety. Fortunately it didn’t start until the near end of my day. The morning morale was high, albeit minor setbacks. I started off with Daft Punk’s “Lose Yourself To Dance” ft. Pharrell Williams. I really like that song, I’ve always been a Daft Punk fan, and Random Access Memories is light and groovy AF, the kind of album I really don’t mind at all if it hangs around.
As the day wore on I grew increasingly urgent. I’d already frittered away most of my ambitions and was left weighing the consequences of continuing to piss away the day by goofing off somewhere or try to salvage some productivity. I chose the latter. After a midday shower accompanied by a playlist I made the day I lost my mom I sat down and applied what little motivation I had. Before long full on distraction and nervousness overtook me to the tune of The Weeknd’s “In The Night.” Normally I really enjoy The Weeknd, but “In The Night” is way too cacophonous and uptempo to do anything but compound a bout of anxiety.
I acted quickly and scoured Apple Music’s focus playlists until I found a suitable compilation of tracks to drown out The Weeknd’s crescendoing hook and my exacerbating panic. Feeling thoroughly satiated I ventured from my apartment and went to go pick up my girlfriend, but in the middle of our commute back home another wave of dread and skittishness crashed over me with “In The Night,” ringing in my ears. The feeling only worsened. As I finish writing this I’m only just hearing the last faint verses echoing through the calmest parts of my brain. Finally. What a long end to what I thought would be a happy day.
Please check out my other posts, click that follow button, and, if you have any tips or critiques, comment below