A Day In The Life Of The Guy Who Missed The Big Game

**The Night Before**

Ah, shit, the game started. Better see what I missed.

*Google searches the teams and sees score*

Damn. 28-7. Wonder what the hell’s going on.

*Checks Twitter* *scrolls* *scrolls* *scrolls*

“Huh, not how I figured it’d get going. Crazy. What quarter is it? Halftime? Ehhhhh, I’m alright.”

**Later That Night**

*Googles score*

“Okay, 34-17, almost a game. How much time is left. 13:12 in the 4th huh…I’m good.”

**The Next Morning**

“Damn it, I need to get up. Damn alarm.”

*Opens Twitter* *scrolls past game take* *scrolls past joke about game* *scrolls past other game take*

*deep sigh“*

“Shit. That’s all I’m going to hear about today.”

*Gets to work.* *Enters office head down, hoping to beeline to desk and avoid usual office small talk*

“Hey bud! Hey get over here! You catch that game last night?!”

“Ahh man you know I actually didn’t, I just got caught up and missed it.”

*puts head down to check phone and starts to turn back to desk*

“WHat?! You missed it??? Bro you missed them getting their asses HANDED to them bro. Fuckin handed.”

“Yeah I saw the score, saw how bad it was, just missed the game.”

*head goes back into phone, body is now turned from conversation and walking back to desk*

“Oh, dude, you have no idea.”

*Ten Minutes And A Dozen Play Recaps Later*

“Sweet,,,man, sounds like a cool game for sure.”

“Fuck, that was brutal. How the fuck did he not pick up that I didn’t want to talk about the fucking game. I didn’t fucking watch the game bro I don’t have anything to add and I definitely don’t want to hear your bench ridin ass JV ass hot takes.”


“How’s it going sir? Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah y’all got any defenses for sale??! I wanna ship one up to them boys since they forgot to bring theirs to last night’s game.” Incoherent cackling ensues.

“Ha, ye-”

“You see that game?? MMan that kid looked good. He won’t play in the pros tho, doesn’t have what it takes. But he sure did look good.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, it’s tough playing professionally.”

“Yeah it ain’t too tough, not these days. But he’ll be alright, he’ll do just fine playing with the big boys.”

What the fuck, you literally just said he wouldn’t make it in the league you rambling prick.

“Uh huh, well, if you need anything please let me know.”


“God dammit is there anything on Twitter that isn’t about that fucking game.”

*scrolls* *scrolls* *scrolls* *refreshes*

Nothing. Not one damn thing. How the hell am I supposed to get through the next two hours.

**7:30PM That Night**

Wonder what’s on TV

*sees replay of last night’s game*

“…fuck it.”

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