Mankind Needs a Predator

Now I know this could never happen because of our incredible ability for technological advancement  wiping out a species at lightning speed, but just suppose that life wasn’t quite as easy as it is today?  Suppose we had a constant dangerous threat to our existence that forced us to be much more alert and much more critically thinking than we are in 2016?  I know, mankind’s greatest threat is himself, just look at the numbers.  We wipe each other off the map in astonishing rates, for little to no reason whatsoever.  But what if we had a common enemy?  What if there was something on this planet that was just a little bit better at wiping us out than we were at wiping each other out, and because of this we couldn’t devote our time to nonsense like Pokemon Go, or the Kardashians, or Hillary or Trump.  What if this same common enemy operated just like predators do in the wild and picked off the easiest of its prey, like oh say the oblivious ones?  Anybody think that if we had predators to worry about that Kim Kardashian would be famous?  Or do you suppose things like proper gender pronouns would be as big of a deal as they are if there was something in the world that at any time might devour you if you weren’t careful enough?  The fact is life has gotten way too easy.  When people can worry about is this individual being called by the right name, or what historical figures can we admonish in the court of social justice, things are a little too posh.  Granted, this isn’t worldwide, so maybe this fictional predator just needs to exist in America to help snap some of society back to the things that actually matter; because I can promise you what does not matter is whether the latest demographic of professional victims have been successfully vindicated according to their desired degree.  When you start to worry about whether or not what someone else is doing or saying is going to be harmful to your emotions and your psyche, you are no longer aware of just how cruel and unforgiving this world can be and as such, you would do well to have to escape from a predator capable of consuming you.

The beauty of said predator though is that it’s not just for the self deluded fantastically egotistical intellectuals jackasses, it also works on those that medical science keeps bringing back to life despite natural selection doing its damnedest to get them out of the gene pool.  You know the guy who failed out of community college, moved back home, and drunk drives so much he’d make Randy Travis uncomfortable?  He’s gone.  How about the girl who goes through guys like she’s at a swingers party?  She’s definitely getting eaten, likely because she put her faith for survival in any of the bros she claims to have “loved,”.  The Internet Overlord, the guy who knows everything about everything because he read it on Reddit two days before you and can’t wait to bait someone into an argument so he can trot out his memorized talking points, yeah you know he’s one of the first to fall prey to this fantasy predator.  Anybody that’s ever done something that by all accounts should have been fatal, like balancing a ladder in a wheelbarrow to kill a hornet’s nest, that individual will not see the coming winter.  Having a predator would eliminate all those parts of society that we can’t yet banish to their own colony on Mars just because we feel they’re too stupid for societal interaction, (I say that, God knows where I’d fall in that scenario, I’d probably be one of the first loaded on the Mars ship).  But, that’s the best part about this hypothetical creature is its egalitarian nature.  It won’t care if you’re white, black, green, purple, straight, gay, trans, or whatever moniker someone has created for themselves, it’ll only care if you slip up just enough to get eaten.  No longer will we have to listen to pampered adolescents whine about how it’s someone else’s job to provide healthcare, education, and wages for them because they were born with the right to all of these things, because those unable to face the reality of self preservation will have no self to preserve.  Said predator won’t favor political allegiances either.  It won’t care how “green” and “Earth conscious,” an ideologically left individual might be, nor will it avoid any of the zombified Trumpkins stumbling down the path to political Jonestown, it’ll just weed out those that can’t muster up the amount of brainpower necessary to evade.  So, John Hammond, if you’re reading this, go ahead and hatch those raptor eggs, I think a little scare would do us some good.

 

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