Stop asking your mechanic to fill your cavities

These days it seems anybody can be an expert at anything, with little to no experience on their topic of commentary.  Take for example the human bunt, laying up in two personified, the 4th quarter kneel incarnate, Joe Buck.

Joe Buck

How this man has managed to not only retain but advance his position in the industry of sports is the epitome of, “fake it till you make it.”  An even better example though I would have to say would be Bob Costas, who regularly delights in ruining a perfectly good sports cast with his latest teleprompter inspired hot take on whatever societal malaise is afflicting the nation.  Had Leo sought Costas’ acting advice he’d be five Oscars deep.  I’m pretty sure Costas is just practicing for when Brian Williams’ lies finally catch up with him to a point that they can’t just shuffle him away to XZNBC eight the Ocho, and they have to replace him.  But my loathe for these two broadcast urchins is best left for another day.  The point is that despite their continual insistence on venturing beyond the approved sportscaster commentary, neither individual has managed to scrape the surface of profundity and wisdom.  They vomit whatever talking point they sped read on the walk up to the booth, and let the ratings and retweets rain down, and the worst of it all, is that we indulge them. We allow their opinions to enter our airspace, leave the spider webbed depths of their TV makeup addled brains, and molest our ears with such frequency that they’ve now begun to confuse our apathy for approval.  I blame the poisonous notion that everyone’s opinion and idea deserves to be heard, and anyone who disagrees can just go ahead and look at Donald Trump’s campaign speeches and realize that if we had shut this man down a long time ago, we wouldn’t be facing a Presidential election between two people who dodge feds better than El Chapo.

when did we become so lazy that we began using celebrities as a one stop shop for all we needed to know about America?

By continuing to indulge infinite armchair quarterbacking by anyone with Internet access, we begin to confuse even ourselves as to who should really be talking, and who should leave their unfounded opinions to their relatives at Thanksgiving, and spare the rest of us the burden of acknowledging the worst of the brain’s capacity for thought.  Take for example the most recent national event, the Orlando nightclub shooting.  Following the attack, everyone, no, really, EVERYONE felt necessary to give their two, four, ten cents on what happened and what we must do to make sure nothing bad happens ever again.  I am not immune to this rant, as many of my posts contain various commentary and opinions on events, and a couple of my upcoming ones do in fact touch on the shooting.  I admit I’m far from an expert on society but damnit, I’m smarter and more qualified than her. kimkguntweets

I mean, come on.  Are we seriously going to let the person who balanced a bottle of champagne on her ass for money influence our thoughts on the status of gun violence in America.  Unfortunately the answer is yes.  Behold, the woman who will probably sway more people on gun opinions than if Thomas Jefferson himself crawled out from his grave with a list of guns he thought approved under the second amendment.  Rush Limbaugh gave a fantastic commentary on the issue, and reading it really got me to thinking.  When did it start that we began mistaking fame for wisdom, when did we become so lazy that we began using celebrities as a one stop shop for all we needed to know about America?

I know the notion of celebrities venturing outside their lanes is nothing new, the early examples of Bob Hope visiting the troops and giving speeches during World War II comes to mind.  As does Hanoi Jane visiting the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War. Hell, it was precisely this formula that created the man, the myth, the legend, Ronaldus Magnus.


But there’s no Gipper on Twitter.  There’s no George Washingtons who are just too humble to consider public office, and so instead turned to acting and sports.  There are just a bunch of amateurs with a louder microphone than the rest of us, and in this day and age volume is mistaken for content.  The louder you are, the righter you are.  You might remember Diddy’s 2004″Rock the Vote,” campaign, where a number of celebs urged us all to get out there and vote without ever actually saying what we should vote on.  Somehow they managed to make Democrats look trendy, despite having Lurch from the Addams Family as their 2004 candidate.  Then there’s the 2005 Katrina relief efforts, where Kanye West stuck his entire leg in his mouth (still love you tho #Yeezy) and there’s climate change, marriage equality, “wage gaps,” abortion, diplomacy, politics, racism, gun control, economics, you name it, they’ll say it. Don’t believe me? Google the past Republican presidential candidates since about 2008 (looking at YOU Ben Carson).  Some have even realized the lucrative potential behind spouting what the masses want to hear, such as the case of Scott Baio’s recent stints as a Fox News Contributor, gratefully following the path that Ted Nugent laid for all those seeking to regain legitimacy through news media.  Just this past year we saw so many getting involved in the North Carolina bathroom laws by boycotting their business with the state, Bruce Springsteen in particular becoming especially vocal because you know, Bruce Springsteen is pretty much the final word on state law, especially as it pertains to transgendered individuals.  Never mind his frequent tours through countries that actively incarcerate or execute homosexuals and transgenders, because there’s no money to be made being principled anywhere else but America.

Frankly I’m sick of it all.  There’s a reason God gave us Antonin Scalia, but also Kim Kardashian and Bruce Springsteen.  Because I wouldn’t ask Bruce Springsteen how to deliver a judicial review, and I sure as hell wouldn’t ask Antonin Scalia how to make money off a sex tape.  I think our decision making ability and really our status as a society would be so much healthier if we would stop allowing and asking people to give commentary on things that they have no business doing so.  Stop waiting to see what Kim Kardashian thinks about gun control, stop beelining straight for John Legend’s twitter whenever there’s a debate, and for the love of God stop letting an orange real estate con man continue to believe he’s fit for the Presidency.

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